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Britain's first gay fathers end their 32-year relationship after one falls 'head over heels' in love with his daughter's boyfriend - who is half his age

Britain's first gay fathers have ended their 32-year relationship after one of them fell 'head over heels' in love with their daughter's boyfriend. 

Barrie Drewitt-Barlow, 50, is now living with the husband he is currently divorcing as well as their five children and his new boyfriend, 25-year-old Scott Hutchison. 

Mr Huchison, who has always been openly bisexual, has previously dated Mr Drewitt-Barlow's 19-year-old daughter, Saffron. 

Saffron and Mr Drewitt-Barlow's current husband, Tony, 55, have remarkably given their blessing to the lovebirds and seem happy with the new living arrangement. 

The family, originally from Essex, now live in Florida. The children refer to Tony as 'Dad', Mr Drewitt-Barlow as 'Daddy' and Mr Hutchison as 'stepdad'. 

The shocking move comes two years after Saffron and Mr Hutchison reportedly planned to have their own twins using a surrogate. The pair claim their relationship was never sexual.  

In an interview with the Sun, self-made millionaire Mr Drewitt-Barlow, said: 'I'm not having a midlife crisis. This is the real deal.'

He said that his children are still in a stable living situation but now 'Dad's got a new fella and we are one bigger happy family instead.'

Mr Drewitt-Barlow and his husband Tony became the UK's first gay fathers in 1999 when a surrogate gave birth to twins Saffron and Aspen. 

The pair, who are now worth £40million, went on to have five children using other surrogates and egg donors.   

They fought in court for their right to be on their children's birth certificates as father and father and became the first gay couple allowed to do so. 

In 2006 they became civil partners and got married as soon as it was legal in the UK in 2014. 

The couple, who previously challenged churches' right to opt out of gay weddings, also caused controversy by supporting gender selection and hand-picking beautiful egg donors. 

Twins Saffron and Aspen will be 20 next month and were conceived using donor eggs from Tracie McCune before being carried in surrogate Rosalind Bellamy. 

Each husband is father to one of the twins, so although they were born at the same time they are in fact half-siblings.  

However, Aspen does have an identical twin, 16-year-old Orlando. 

The embryo which Aspen came from split in two while it was in the lab and Orlando was frozen for four years before being put into the womb of another surrogate, Donna. 

Donna acted as surrogate again for the couple's second set of twins - who were born nine years ago. 

The eggs were from a Brazilian model that Mr Drewitt-Barlow spotted on a catwalk and paid £35,000.  

The couple began to drift apart as their sex life dwindled and Mr Drewitt-Barlow's snoring forced the pair into separate beds. 

Husband Tony also suffered from cancer in 2006 and suffered bad health for the last three years because of treatment related to it. 

While his is now in remission, it was his hospital admission for osteoradionecrosis in his jaw that sent Mr Drewitt-Barlow into the arms of Scott - who had been his PA for seven years.   

Mr Drewitt-Barlow said: 'Me and Tony turned from lovers into friends. 

'Saffron and Scott had been split for many months and this was something totally unexpected.'

Not only did Tony encourage Mr Drewitt-Barlow's new relationship, he even acted as a mediator when the couple decided to break the news to Saffron. 

Mr Drewitt-Barlow said: 'Of course she was annoyed at first but Tony said: ''You can see how Scott is with Daddy, he likes him.'' 

'Saffron sees how happy we are and she has accepted it.'

He added: 'There will be people that have a problem with it, but I couldn't care less.' 

Mr and Mr Drewitt-Barlow both grew up in Manchester on council estates but now spend their time hopping between a £5million Florida home and a sprawling Essex mansion. 

Barrie wrote on Facebook to say: 'I just want to thank those of you that have messaged already regarding the story. 

'I’m not sure what the big deal is myself, things don’t always work out in relationships for one reason or another, but Tony and I are both very happy about the way things have turned out and regardless of the negativity regarding our relationship, we will both be there for each other through this very difficult time.'

He went on to insinuate that another bombshell was in the pipeline by saying: 'Thank you for your concern but if you think that’s bad, wait till you hear what’s next!'

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Woman born with no legs defies bullies by finding love

A transgender woman born with half a body has defied critics by finding love.

Piyah Martell, from California, was born with a rare condition known as sacral agenesis.

She admits her congenital birth defect made it difficult to settle down.

But after a while in the dating game, the 27-year-old has finally met her perfect match.

Piyah was born with sacral agenisis, which prevents the spine and legs from developing in the womb.

Growing up with the defect was difficult, especially as some of her classmates taunted her for being different.

She added: “Going to high school was where a lot of bullying happened.

“Some of the difficulties in school was having to deal with people talking behind my back.

“They were rude, and called me names, saying, ‘You have no legs, you are an amputee.’

“I am just like, ‘Oh dear’, pushing all those mean people away.”

Even though Piyah has faced adversity, she tries to live life as normally as possible.

She said: “My disability affects me outside of my house because I have to use a skateboard to get around.

“I have my nice little shoes that I wear inside and out of the house so that I don’t hurt my hands.

“I always make sure either I have gloves, slippers or some type of things on my hands to keep myself safe.”

While Piyah says her condition can make dating difficult, it hasn’t held her back.

Six years ago, Piyah began dating her partner Andrew.

She remembered: “My first impression of him was – what am I getting myself into?

“But then he has this, like, charm. He had this charm that I was really attracted to.

“Just like every normal couple we fight, we argue, we bicker but we always end up together and we make it work.

“That's the thing about relationships, we communicate.”

Andrew is equally smitten with his girlfriend.

He confessed: “I thought she is a very beautiful girl. She is sweet. She was nice. And I don't know, she is just wonderful.

“She just brightens up the day every day.”

The California-based man added that the pair enjoy a healthy sexy life.

He added: “Me and Piyah have a wonderful sex life. I see life as wonderful.”

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Woman who divorced her husband on the week of their 10th anniversary after he cheated insists they're happier than ever after marrying for the SECOND time

A couple who married young before divorcing the week of their 10th anniversary rekindled their romance five years later - when they tied the knot again.

Damian Robinson and Amanda Rogers, from Warrington in Cheshire, first fell in love while working at their local supermarket in August 1992, when Amanda was 21 and Damian was 24.

The loved-up pair were a couple within weeks of meeting and Damian popped the question months before they married in April 1994.

But the couple, who have two daughters, Abigail, 24, and Charlotte, 23, became blighted by money issues and infidelity before divorcing in April 2004 - just one week before what would have been their 10th anniversary.

Damian and Amanda both met other people but rekindled their relationship five years later in 2009 when Damian helped look after their girls when Amanda's younger son from a new relationship, William, then two, was in hospital.

And incredibly the couple, who remarried in front of their families in 2017, say they are stronger than ever - and insist their unusual relationship history has brought them closer together.

Construction worker and father-of-two Damian, now 49, said: 'When we got married it was good at first, but after we'd had Abigail and Charlotte and Amanda had health issues everything started to go wrong.

'She could no longer work and earn money - it was really tough because we were still so young and were financially struggling.

We both separated once we had met other people.

'I never really got over the divorce, but it woke me up a lot and helped me move on.

'We shared custody of both of our children, and did our best to get through it and carry on with our lives.'

Mother-of-three and sales assistant Amanda, now 47, said: 'We were in a constant battle with health and money problems for around 10 years so it's no surprise that things went that way.

'I was on painkillers for my back and had to have major surgery, which left me unable to work and it was tough.

We were both struggling and miserable - Damian had an affair and moved out for a while, but came back because he missed our daughters too much.

'We decided to move house to try and restart but I met someone else and we then separated.

'I initiated the divorce because I was getting to 30 years old and felt that it was my opportunity to find happiness and make a change.'

Time passed by and ex-couple hadn't spoken for five years, apart from to co-parent their daughters Abigail and Charlotte. 

Then, their daughters got a kitten and convinced Amanda to come over to meet the new pet. 

Amanda said that, since she had recently split up with her new partner, she even warned the girls that this wasn't an opportunity to try and get her back with Damian.

But two weeks later, Amanda's son William, now 12, was ill in hospital, and Damian offered Amanda his support and helped take care of their daughters so she could be with her son.

All fell into place when Damian visited the pair at Warrington Hospital and they rekindled their love in the hospital ward - with a simple hand hold.

Damian moved into Amanda's while her son was still in hospital and the couple went straight back into their relationship.

The father-of-two said: 'We were walking down the hospital hall and I squeezed her hand - she squeezed mine back and it all went from there.

'Friends and family advised caution because if anything went wrong again they didn't want our children to be upset.

'Our parents were happy and noticed that Amanda and I had both changed as people and our children were over the moon to have both parents living in the same house again.

We're far more patient and appreciative of each other now and realise our faults and when we need space - we've definitely matured.

'It seems a shame that we went through what we did but when we look back at it we realise it wasn't a waste of time and that we wouldn't be where we are now if it didn't happen that way.'

After rekindling their love in 2009, Damian proposed to Amanda for the second time on Christmas Day in 2015.

At first, they were both scared to tell friends and family that they had got back together after their whirlwind divorce, but they received a huge amount of support.

Amanda and Damian then remarried on 12 August 2017 at Prescott Registry Office in front of close family and friends and say they are now stronger than ever.

The couple spent just £1,200 on their second wedding - similar to what they spent on their first - and had a laid back reception at their home where they celebrated their family coming back together.

Amanda said: 'Damian has been an amazing dad to all three children and to have our family back together has been great.

'We've not really gone over old ground but we're now older, stronger, wiser and more honest and open - we rarely argue now!

'My back problems are still a major thing within our relationship, but he understands it all better now.

'It's been a rollercoaster for 27 years and I look back and can't believe we got through it - a lot of people go through the same struggles as us with money and health problems and I never thought I'd marry him again.

'I love him to bits and it's obvious that it was meant to be.'

Amanda is now completing a degree in environmental studies and the couple both have future plans of moving to the Hebrides in Scotland where they had their second honeymoon together in August 2017.

She said: 'We didn't get the chance to have a honeymoon after our first marriage so it was amazing to finally have one together after around 27 years.

'Love isn't easy at times but you've got to have faith and trust - if you don't have those then things can go wrong but above everything we've learnt that we need to be honest and open with each other.'

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Married primary school teacher, 35, is banned for kissing a teenage classroom assistant during lesson in the school's woods and letting his class of six-year-olds out of his sight

A married primary school teacher has been banned from the classroom for a year after he stopped supervising his six-year-old pupils to kiss a teenage teaching assistant.

John Lawrence, 35, had a 'stupid kiss' with the 18-year-old classroom assistant during school hours and during a lesson in the nearby forest.  

The Year One teacher admitted taking his attention away from his class of six-year-olds for the kiss in the woods. 

Lawrence, who had been a teacher since 2009, quit over 'inappropriate' behaviour with the classroom assistant known as Colleague A at the primary school in Llandrindod Wells, Powys.

He said he had resigned 'out of shame and embarrassment' for kissing his colleague.   

Lawrence admitted letting his class out of his sight as he enjoyed a 'fleeting moment' with the woman, referred to as Colleague A and argued it only lasted up to 10 seconds.

The misconduct hearing was told the Year One teacher later resigned after allegedly swapping naked pictures with the young woman.

'Colleague A advised that Lawrence kissed her but she pushed him away and asked him not to because they were working.'   

Sioned Hughes, deputy head of the Ysgol Trefonnen school in Llandrindod Wells, Mid Wales, said: 'Colleague A had been in the school's forest area with a female pupil when Lawrence arrived with his class. Lawrence stayed with Colleague A while his class of pupils as young as six ran on ahead.'  

The hearing was told Lawrence admitted kissing his colleague but described it as a 'little peck'.

The fitness to practice hearing of the Education Workforce Council heard how he also messaged the young school assistant on social media - against school rules.

The hearing heard that when she turned 18, the messages became 'more intimate' - and the pair swapped nude pictures.

Miss Hughes said: 'Colleague A told me that she had taken some naked photographs and had received some as well.'

Lawrence admits breaching the school social media policy, kissing Colleague A on the school site during the school working day and allowing children out of his sight while engaged in inappropriate conduct with Colleague A.

He denied that his actions were sexually motivated and that it constituted unacceptable professional conduct.

Lawrence, who is married to wife Kelly, had started in the countryside village school in 2015. He resigned last year and has been working as chef.

He said: 'I would wish to reiterate my apologies and my regret. It was a stupid thing to do. A stupid kiss, a stupid message and it has cost me my job at the school as well as the mental anguish over the last few months.'

The misconduct hearing found against him and suspended Mr Lawrence from teaching for a year.

Cardiff hearing chairman Peter Owen said he had put his own interests ahead of his pupils and his conduct fell 'short of that expected of a registered person'. 

'Relationships between consenting members of staff are entirely acceptable, providing they do not interfere with their professional responsibilities, but Mr Lawrence's conduct took place during school and on a school site,' Owen said.


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Trans man and trans woman marry in beautiful Indian wedding ceremony

A transgender couple celebrated their love in Bengal’s first ever trans wedding.

Tista Das, a transgender activist and actress, looked radiant in a traditional Bengali sari as she married her partner Dipan Chakraborty in a Hindu ceremony.

The couple tied the knot in Agarpara, Kolkata in front of friends, neighbours and family members, including Tista’s mother Subhra who said: “I am happy to see my daughter settle down with someone like Dipan.”

“We have been through a lot of hardship but parents should always support their children,” she told The Times of India.

Tista added: “I always believed love has no gender and Dipan and I have proved

Indian trans couple met at legal clinic

The couple met while Tista was working at a trans legal clinic.

When Dipan visited as a client, the two struck a chord and soon began dating.

According to the Times, they became engaged in April 15, India’s National Trans Day of Visibility.

Dipan, who has only recently come out as trans, faced a rush to to obtain his new identity documents so that the wedding could take place.

Fortunately everything fell into place, and the ceremony was organised with the help of friends and neighbours.

Pandit Biswajit Mukherjee, who performed the ceremony, called the wedding an “historical event.”

“I have never seen anything like this,” he told the Times.

“I am happy to be a part of it. In fact, I cancelled another appointment [to be there]

Aparajita Bose, a member of the Human Rights Law Network Kolkata, said that the wedding will “have a huge impact” on the transgender community, which she says still “fears being rejected by society.”

“I wish Dipan and Tista a happy married life,” Bose said. “They are both wonderful human beings.”

Dipan added: “I am extremely lucky to have Tista as my wife. This is the best day of my life”


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6 Taboo Things That Might Actually Save Your Relationships

Who decides what’s good and what’s bad for relationships? Especially when it’s your relationship and only you and your partner know exactly what’s going on between the two of you. Yet society thinks it knows best, that’s why there exists so many rules as to what’s good for a couple and what they should never ever do. But you know what? Only you and you alone can tell what harms your relationships and what makes them stronger. Here are 8 taboos that might actually save your relationships.

Sleeping in separate beds
Psychologists admit that if you’re sleeping in separate beds this is a sign that your relationships are in trouble. But when the decision is mutual and for whatever reason you both are happier sleeping in separate beds – then why not? There’s nothing wrong with it and it shouldn’t be a taboo.

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  • 8 Signs of Untrue Love


    Some people search for true love their whole life, others mange to find it on the first try. But which of these two cases are you? Is the relationship you’re in right now that perfect one that will last forever, or is this just a temporary fling and you haven’t realised it yet? Are you two meant to last? Is this just a rough patch you’re going through or is this the beginning of an end? There are certain signs that can show you if this is true love or not, and we’re about to let you in on some of them. It’s up to you whether you want to know the truth or remain oblivious.

    1. The Chemistry Is Wilting
    Chemistry is a very important part of every relationship. Most relationships will have it at the beginning, but after a year or two it starts to fade unless you work on it. If you feel like the chemistry between you and your partner is wilting and you don’t really feel like doing anything about it – that’s a sign it’s not true love.

    2. You Don’t Read Each Other’s Mind
    We’re not talking about the freaky kind where they literally read your mind (no matter how convenient that could be) but rather the sentiment that suggest you’re on the same page. You know, when you think about something and suddenly they bring it up in conversation and it seems magical that you were thinking the same thing, or when you finish each other sentences. If you don’t get that at least once in a while – it’s probably not true love.

    3. No Talk About The Future
    True love is all about wanting to spend the rest of your time together. But if you don’t talk about the future, the things you want to do, places you’d like to go together, if you never make plans further than a week in advance – it’s probably not true love.

    4. You’re Constantly On Edge
    If you find yourself constantly overthinking, worrying about what you say, in case they disagree or become angry – it’s not a good sign. Same goes for when you text them – do you just send whatever you’re thinking about or do you have to retype all your texts a couple of times to get the perfect phrasing? If you’re constantly on edge – it’s not true love. True love is way easier.

    5. They Don’t Seem Happy To See You
    If they seem annoyed by your mere presence sometimes or feel cornered and upset when you pay them a surprise visit – it’s not true love. They should always be happy to see you.

    6. You Don’t Exchange Compliments
    Compliments are the easiest way to make a person feel good and loved. It’s such an easy thing to do. Just something along the lines of “you look great in that dress” or “you’re a smart cookie.” Why wouldn’t you say something like that to each other? Maybe because it’s not true love?

    7. They Bring You Down
    What’s even worse is when instead of paying each other compliments you instead bring each other down. If you or your partner constantly point out each other’s insecurities and complain about all the things they’re doing wrong – it’s a very telling sing too.

    8. You Feel Judged
    Judgement is the worst thing that can happen to a relationship. If you find yourself judging your partner or you feel judged by them – something is seriously wrong. True love is all about accepting the other person and their flaws. Judging someone has nothing to do with true love.


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    10 Things A Woman Will Do Only When She’s Truly In Love

    here are different types of love and as you go through relationships you learn to differentiate them. With some men you feeling yourself more like a friend with great benefits, while others treat you like a princess in constant need of attention. Men are different, women are different, so no wonder the relationships vary, too! But when you truly fall in love all that doesn’t really matter that much. The roles you play or the intricacies of your characters aren’t that important when your heart is filled with pure, agonizingly bright love. That’s when you start doing the most remarkable (and sometimes silly) things. Here are 10 things a woman will do only when she’s truly in love.

    She becomes romantic in a cheesy way
    You know how all those Valentine Day’s heart-shaped presents and date ideas for love birds used to make you cringe? Well, all of that changes once you fall deeply in love. Okay, maybe not all, but a considerable amount for sure. You start looking at things from a different perspective and sometimes you don’t mind getting all cheesy romantic, buying your boyfriend sweet little presents or surprising him with a romantic venue for your dinner. Guys get like that, too! Those romcoms aren’t based on fantasy alone.

    She travels more because of his wanderlust
    And vice versa! Yes, falling in love doesn’t mean that your personality changes. But it does a little bit, at least at first. You might be a home girl fond of spending quiet evenings with books, and then you meet this wonderful guy who’s really into adventure and suddenly you find yourself hiking somewhere in the mountains in full gear. Things like that happen all the time! And they’re not necessarily bad because you become more open to new opportunities and experiences with the person you truly care about.

    She’ll learn to cook (or at least try to)
    Cooking may not be your thing and it may remain totally not being your thing, but you’ll definitely have the urge to at least to try and cook something for your boyfriend. Taking care of your partner is one of the most basic relationship rules we start following on a subconscious level. We care about what he eats, how he sleeps, and whether he gets enough rest. It’s totally natural! But if your partner is a better cook than you, feel free to lend him your helping hands and not play the chef yourself.

    She’ll move into his place
    Moving in is a great game-changer at any stage of relationship. Both men and women like their own space and once you start living together there becomes naturally less of “I” and more of “Us”. This is an amazing thing and a next step in your relationship, but it can also be stressful for both you and your partner. That’s why if you’re willing to move in, it means that things have finally gotten serious.

    She eats everything he makes
    Your boyfriend might not be the greatest cook in the world, but he cares about you and makes all his food with love. That’s why you’ll gladly eat it even if it doesn’t taste like something made in a restaurant. This shows him that you really care and appreciate his efforts. This also means that you’re truly-madly-deeply in love!

    She texts him all the time
    It becomes so hard to stay away from each other that you continue your communication during the day with all those little Iloveyou’s and various casual stuff you feel like discussing at the moment. You probably used to think that such people were quite annoying, but now you are that person! And you think it’s the sweetest thing in the world to be able to talk to him even when he’s not around. Yep, that’s what true love does to a person.

    She posts about him on social media
    Yes, it may annoy some people, but you’ve gone past caring about that. You are in love and simply want to share it with the world. You post pictures, romantic photos, and even change your status on Facebook. It’s important to show that your life has changed and he is the exact reason of that change.

    She starts thinking about the future together
    Naturally, when you’re in love you feel like this could go on forever and there’s no reason in the world why it shouldn’t! You might not plan your future wedding (yet), but you already so into him that you want to travel together, try new things, eat new dishes, and, well, simply enjoy your life. Being truly in love makes you dwell on good things, which turns you into a really happy person in general.

    She has the urge to try new things
    New relationships mean new interests, hobbies, and possibilities. All those new experiences come into your life with that wonderful man you chose. Naturally, you get more curious and adventurous, although you may have been more reluctant to try new things before. He might offer you to take up a new hobby together and you’ll gladly agree because it promises to be so much fun.

    She moves to another city for him
    One of the biggest tests in relationship is when you don’t live in one city or, what’s even more challenging, one country. There just comes a point when you need to decide whether you try to maintain a long-distance relationship or you love him enough to change your whole life and move into a new place. Well, you boyfriend can do the same for you, it all comes down to which one of you is more flexible with work. If you find yourself willing to leave everything you know behind to go and be with him – this is definitely true love.

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    How To Determine If You Like Him Or Just The IDEA Of Him

    Let's help you sort out your feelings by giving you clues on whether you do like him or you just like the idea of him. Just check out this piece to find out.

    Liking Him Vs. Just Liking The Idea Of Him

    Truth be told, one can really get sometimes confused about whether one actually likes a guy or it's just because one is lonely and wishes to put up with a guy. Emotional entanglement is bad, and it happens when one gives one's heart out to someone before defining one's values and priorities in a relationship.
    It compares to going to a large supermarket with plenty of dollars in your pocket but no exact list of what to buy. If care is not taken, you might not get value for your money in the end because you might just end up buying so many things you actually don't need.
    Granted, as females, we are mostly emotional and love to have a guy we can call our own. In most cases, we can almost tell if a particular guy is our type or not; but in some cases, we get confused as to the genuineness of our feelings and those of the guy we are attracted to. The big question when we have that guy in our life that we find hard to swallow and at the same time difficult to vomit is "Do I really like him?"Most times, these ones appear to us as partly devil and partly angels, but their supposed angelic parts seem so alluring that we want to turn a blind eye to their other sides. Hmnn, that's understandable but may be very risky. That's because our hearts are too delicate to be toyed with. Love is not and should not be an experiment. It's a decision just as much as it's a feeling too.So, before you take a decision of love just because of your possibly temporary feelings, it is good to undergo some self-examination and assess what your true feeling is. Love is a quiz that only you can answer for yourself. Someone else cannot take the quiz for you. As such, what we would be doing here is to give you tips on how to assess yourself with this "quiz," so you don't get to regret later. We shall, therefore, commence with highlighting some signs that you actually like him.

    You Do Like Him If...

    1. He Represents Your Ideal Husband

    Yes, we know we are not talking about marriage here; but can you just take some time and provide an answer to this quiz? If there is a decree right now converting every guy you seem to be confused whether you like or not to your husband, would you be happy to have him as your husband?
    While believing that you are sincere with your self-evaluation, if it is in the affirmative, then you definitely like him. However, if there are doubts in one way or the other that you consider too significant to ignore, it's no doubt that you only like the idea of him. Better let it be that way.The point is simple; there is no sense in dating a guy you know cannot be your husband. It's absolutely a waste of time. Just keep enjoying the "idea of him" and don't put yourself into any coffin in an attempt to get attention.

    2. You Don't Have Worries Submitting To His Judgment

    Now, here is another test to show you actually like him; if he holds an unpopular belief about his career, family, love, or any other subject, do you still see through his vision and believe he must have a reason for his position? If so, you definitely like this guy.A guy you just like the idea of would most easily fly off your thought when his ideas and ideals contradict those that are popular or considered realistic by the society. It takes something more than just being lonely and craving attention to believe in such guys.

    3. You Without Him Looks Gloomy

    If your closeness with him has reached a level in which you seem to dread his separation from you, what does that tell you? Of course, you want more than just his attention. Most likely you actually like him. While it is true that anyone can appear to fulfill this requirement, only a guy you truly like would make your heart pant when you think of a possible separation between the two of you.A common litmus test for love is to see if you can live without a partner or you only can live with them. Get the point right; there are many people we can live, play, eat, or associate with but only a few of them have won such an impressive spot in our hearts that we feel doomed to lose them. Such ones are the ones we really like.

    4. You're Okay With Him Knowing Your Secrets

    The moment you start feeling comfortable telling the guy things you would think twice before telling even your female friends, it has gone beyond you just liking the idea of him. You are pretty much into him. You know why? That's because no matter how lonely you are, you would still find it embarrassing or unsafe to discuss certain things in your life with someone you are not deeply in love with. If everything you want from them is just their attention, you would most likely be holding some things back from them.

    5. It's Hard To Get Him Off Your Mind

    This may not be a standalone point to stamp the submission that you like him. He might just be a cool, generous, and east-to-be-with guy, and those features are what keeps attracting you in him. But if you have tried severally to get him off your thought or avoid him but it seems not to be working, babe, it's good you agree you are damn into that guy.You are most likely connected to him more than the usual quest for attention most lady craves. Love can actually be ravaging sometimes, and the fact that you cannot seem to forget him no matter how hard you struggle to do so means you like more than just the idea of him; you actually like him.

    You Only Like The Idea Of Him If...

    1. His Absence Does Not Move You Much

    It's only an idea of him you like if once he is out of sight, you can pretty much get him out of your mind. That is, you are only glued to him when he is within your reach. If any effort that would require that you sacrifice your comfort to get him would likely not be welcomed by you, that should tell you that your affection for him is not deep enough. If you really like a guy and you consider him a perfect man for you, then, you would not consider any sacrifice too great to make to reach him. The fact that you can easily forget about him with the least effort suggests that it's only the idea of him that you like.  

    2. You Are Not Totally Comfortable With Him

    So, today you want him, tomorrow you see your closeness with him as possibly a mistake? The reason is that he is actually not your type. There is something about him that is not going right well with you, and your spirit being is signaling you to take note.In this type of situation, it is better you caution yourself from becoming very committed to him. Fine, the guy might seem to like you, and you are thinking of giving him a chance; but then, the mere fact that you have some reservations about his person should make you reconsider your position.

    3. He Is Not Sufficient For You

    The guy you really like would appear to be your world and everything. You would hardly see him deficient in anything or area. Granted, the guy isn't perfect; but you would see him as such because it's not just the idea of him that you like, you actually like him too.On the contrary, if it's only the idea of him that you like, there would be some needs of yours that he would not be meeting. In fact, the more he puts effort to satisfy you, the more you seem not to be satisfied. You simply need more than he's got to offer.

    4. You Don't Mind Not Chatting With Him For A Week

    So, let's say you only feel your intense desire for him when you are lonely or passing through a disturbing phase of your life, he's probably more of a big brother or counselor to you than a guy you really like and want to be with. The guy you like would not only be a counselor but your best friend.
    As such, as a sign that it's just the idea of him that you like, you would find it easy to stay days without sending him a text or even calling him. Of course, this does not mean that you no longer have regard for him but because your gut is seeing him as just a friend or accomplice of some sort.

    Final Thought

    There is a surely a difference between just liking the idea of someone or having a boyfriend and actually liking a person. One is usually terrific and short-lived, the other may take time, but it's last-longing. When you actually like a guy, you would have lesser things to worry about concerning him. But where it is only the idea of him that you like, you would not be settled in your mind concerning him.In making a decision that affects your whole being such as this, you need to consider and reconsider your feelings. It's not everybody that one likes that is good for one. Some people are actually best at being a friend, while some are good at being a counselor. As such, it would be nice to listen to your inner self and follow your gut.Sincerely, if you would listen to yourself, you can reasonably conclude whether it is just the idea of him that you like, or you really like him. Hopefully, some of the points highlighted in this piece would help you to clarify what your true feeling is. Remember that feelings can be deceptive and unstable; so, walk with facts.http://ttps://

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    20 Body Language Signs Of Men Girls Often Mistake For Flirting

    Just like it’s the case with every other male in the animal kingdom, men often exhibit specific signs, especially when flirting with a woman they happen to like. And while a good number of the signs of flirting are usually dead on, others can easily be misconstrued. This is often the case because such signs being vague. Here are some of the signs exhibited by men that can easily be mistaken for flirtation:

    1. Always the gentlemen around you

    Unfortunately, most men are perceived as flirts especially for being kind and gentle especially towards women. This is quite unfortunate because, believe it or not; there are parents in this time and age who raise their boys to become gentlemen. The latter means that these men always ensure that the women around them feel as safe and as secure and possible without trying to get a reward out of it.

    2. When men smile with their faces

    Most women conclude that when a man is constantly smiling at them with his entire face, then the chances are that he’s interested. This might be true but only to some extent. Sometimes, a man will smile with his entire face simply because he is genuinely, and wholeheartedly happy. This means that you can’t solely rely on how a guy smiles to determine whether he likes you or not. Instead, try looking out for other signs that might point to flirtation before confirming your suspicions.

    3. When protection isn’t a sign of flirting

    Sometimes men instinctually jump in to protect women from harm’s way not because they are attracted to them but simply because it’s the right thing to do. Most men understand that protecting women is their genetic responsibility and will, therefore, do it without a moment’s hesitation. If this happens, it’s not the body language of attraction.

    4. When a man gives you his coat

    More often than not, men being considerate to women is, without a doubt, a strong body language for flirting. But there’re times when a man will be considerate to a woman simply because it’s the right thing to do. For instance, he might give a woman his coat when it’s cold or an umbrella when it’s raining.

    5. When attention isn’t among the signs of flirtation

    In most cases, men will only give their full and undivided attention to women that they like. But what makes this sign a not-so-reliable one is a simple fact that men can still give their attention to a woman they aren’t attracted to for a whole lot of reasons besides flirting. For instance, he might pay close attention during a conversation simply because it’s the polite thing to do.

    6. When he likes hanging out with you

    When a man likes hanging out with you, the chances are that he likes you. But there are times when a man would want to chill with you simply because you offer some fantastic company. He might also want to chill because he’s either concerned about you or wants to give you assurance and protection, but only as a friend. Therefore, it’ll be shrewd for you to look out for other signs of flirtation before drawing any conclusions.

    7. Raised eyebrows during conversations

    Again, a guy with undeniable attraction towards you will always be eager to hear your voice. But this can also apply to the guy who isn’t attracted to you but is only eager to listen to what you’ve got to say. Therefore, I’d strongly advise that you also look out for other signs of flirtation using body language before you do anything else..

    8. When he’s always manly around you

    Just because most women use manliness as a yardstick for measuring attraction doesn’t make it reliable at all. This is simply because men were created to be. . .drumroll - manly. Therefore, you’ll be better off either giving it time and observe how he behaves around other people or even better, grow a proverbial pair and ask him if he likes you.

    9. When he’s always there for you

    Another one of the many signs that are often mistaken for flirtation is when a man is always there for a woman. Nowadays, genuineness and loyalty have become so rare that a lot of things get easily misconstrued. And the latter might be your case especially when a particular man is always there for you simply because he's a good friend.

    10. Strong eye contact

    In some cases, men give strong eye contact simply because they are confident and have a clear conscience. Therefore, if you’re suspecting such a man of having the hots for you basing on his strong eye contact, then chances are that you might be in for a rude shock. You might want to swallow your pride and ask him what’s up than making your assumptions. 

    11. When he’s comfortable with your touches

    Sometimes women conclude that men like them simply because when they reached out to touch, they never flinched. And in as much as this might be true, there are a good number of men who are confident with their body and therefore wouldn’t mind you touching - as long as it isn’t inappropriate. That said, it’ll be very wise for you to keep an eye out for other subtle signs of attraction before taking a stand.

    12. When he’s always talking to you

    In most cases, guys will not spend much of their time talking to women they aren’t attracted to. But when he does, it still won’t automatically translate to an attraction. Sometimes a guy may like talking to you simply because you’re an eloquent, high-value woman with value to add in his life.Or maybe the reason he likes talking to you is simply that he trusts you. That said, it’s always wise not to misinterpret this body language in as much as it may have some bearing to it.

    13. When he always faces you during a conversation

    When a man is always facing you during conversations, then the chances are that he likes you. And that’s why he’ll try using this body language as a means of flirting. But in as much as this might be a very reliable way of telling whether a guy likes you or not, sometimes it can be inaccurate. This is simply because its normal for someone to face you when talking to you.

    14. That deep, sexy voice

    In most cases, men deepen their voices a little bit when talking to women they’re attracted to. Signs such as these shouldn’t be ignored especially if the guy in question doesn’t have a naturally deep voice. But in as much as deepening one’s voice is a reliable sign of flirtation, it won’t apply to guys who talk with a naturally deep voice.

    15. When he always neat

    When a man truly likes you, he’ll always make an effort to dress up nice right before meeting with you. But you shouldn’t jump into any conclusions just yet until you’ve known him some more. This is simply because he might be a clean dude who is self-conscious and loves being clean at all times.

    16. When he always fiddling with his shirt/hair

    Sometimes when guys fiddle with their hair or shirt, they’re simply because nervous or uncomfortable. And as we all know, nervousness is caused by a plethora of things besides attraction. That said, it is important for you to pay close attention to other signs of attraction before making any assumptions.

    17. When he apologizes rather too quickly

    If he never wants to offend you, the chances are that he is into you. But in some cases, the reason for him always apologizing might not be among the most reliable signs of flirting and here’s why. For starters, he might not be a big fan of arguments. That said, it’s always important not to put all of your eggs in this proverbial basket until you are 100 percent sure.

    18. When he’s always nervous around you

    First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge the that nervousness is one of the most reliable signs of attraction. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that every man who happens to be nervous around you wants to flirt with you. Once again, a ton of things can make a man nervous. It may be because you’re just a scary person.

    19. When he teases you…A lot

    Some guys can’t help teasing their friends just for gags. Therefore, if a guy teases you for fun it does not, by any means, shape or form, show that he intends on flirting with you. Unfortunately, most women will automatically assume the exact opposite - don’t be like most women.

    20. When he invades your personal space constantly

    When a man keeps invading your personal space, then the chances are that he might be trying to flirt with you, subliminally. But sometimes a guy would do this only because he thinks of you as his adorable little sister. Therefore, pay close attention to the other signs of flirtation before drawing any inaccurate conclusions.The final word on signs mistaken for flirting.As far as love and attraction are concerned, a lot of things can be misconstrued simply because a lot of emotions are often involved. And that’s why you’ll have to pay close attention to the signs flirting before concluding that a man is not only attracted but is flirting with you. To be on the safe side, you’ll have to experience at least five of the signs as mentioned above of flirtation before you can safely conclude that a man likesy.

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    7 tips to keep your woman happy in bed

     It doesn't take much time for a man to get sufficiently aroused. But the same cannot be said about a woman.However, these super-sexy erotic tips for men to get their women hot and ready can do the trick.As you may know, sexual arousal actually begins with an increased blood flow to the genitals, and not necessarily with being wet.Wet doesn't necessarily mean that she is ready. That may only be a precursor to readiness. But this is just one sexy tip...Let's take a look at some erotic tips that you can use to satisfy your partner like never before.

    1. Take it slow and easy

    So you decide to slow down and indulge in some foreplay before the actual act.But what do you do during this time?How about some caressing?You can use every inch of her body as a playground and caress her till she is ready for you to reach between her legs.Don't just get stuck in two or three areas. Instead explore your partner's body.You can slowly fondle her ears, neck, arms, legs, back, chest as well as her feet.All of these parts of the body -- and the other ones -- can create sensual sensations.

    2. Ask her what she wants

    Sometimes sex should also be about your partner.The best way to make her feel special and to incite a fast sensual response is by caressing her and asking her if she likes it.Similarly, you can also ask for things she doesn't like or the things she would like you to do instead. Use this as an opportunity to learn more about your partner.Asking questions like, "Do you like it?" or "Would you like me to try this?" can also help.

    3. Keep your tickles in check

    Being ticklish could mean different things to different women.For some women, it is sensually satisfactory, while for others it may seem like a discomfort.So while you are trying to understand what your partner likes or dislikes, you might want to check if a tickle falls into any of these categories.For instance, drawing a 'W' or an '8' on her tummy might seem ticklish. But keeping your warm palm on it, might not.

    4. A French kiss is not always the best kiss

    Yes, you read that right!Kissing often doesn't get as much due as it deserves.It is not just about crashing your lips against hers or pushing your tongue down her throat. In fact, a lot of women don't even like French kissing.You have a constant play for lips and touch, warm breath and an inviting nibble. So instead of an aggressive kiss, you go in gently.Caress her lips and then softly touch her lips with yours. Kissing shouldn't be a quickie act, it should feel like you are soul searching.

    5. Let them wait a little

    The entire point of caressing her body is to let her warm up and get into the mood.If you simply thrust yourself upon her and reach between her legs, then you lose the battle.Instead, caress her entire body and once both of you are in the mood, you can move on to touching her most intimate parts.Delaying any kind of genital play makes the act more pleasurable and gives your partner enough time to get into the mood, and dripping wet for you.

    6. Fondle them the right way

    Once you are both at a juncture where you are ready to take it to the next level, you can indulge in some fondling.Remember that breasts and nipples are extremely sensitive and they need a soft touch.Whilst you gently caress and fondle them don't forget to talk to your woman.Ask her to coach you so you know exactly what she wants. This is one of the most crucial erotic tips for men and this type of communication can help you both enjoy and tease each other.

    7. Be gentle when you reach down there

    Most men are unaware of this, but your woman's vaginal lips are made from the same cells as your scrotum. So being rough and harsh to them is like abusing your own scrotum.Instead, if you touch them softly they will open up on their own. Similarly, a woman's clitoris is also extremely sensitive and gentle.Don't attack it like a thirsty dog. Instead, you should stimulate her clitoris and be extra gentle. That's because a clitoris is made up of thousands of nerve endings that are packed together tightly.That's why some women do not even like their clitoris touched by hand. At the most, a gentle caress is what they prefer. So do that.Don't force oral sex on her either -- not all women like it.It also helps to take a good hard look. Don't just poke around blindly. Look at your wife's vagina, look at what you're doing to it, and look at your wife's face while you do what you're doing down there.Most importantly, ask your partner what they like and make this a pleasurable experience for the both of you.These erotic tips for men will not only make your experience pleasurable, but also score you some brownie points for your sensitivity!Now, go and have the best sex of your life...

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    9 Things The Happiest Couples Do For Each Other Without Being Asked

    In a healthy relationship, people tend to give love and support freely and frequently. They don’t wait for a special occasion to show their appreciation. They genuinely enjoy doing nice things for one another “just because” ? no prompting necessary.We asked relationship experts to tell us what kinds of things, both big and small, happy couples do for each other without being asked. Here’s what they had to say:

    1. They check in with each other.

    “Whether it’s a ‘hello’ text or call to ask, ‘How did it go?’ the happiest couples reach out. They call to say, ‘I’m running late,’ or ‘We just landed,’ or ‘Do you need me to stop at the store on my way home?’ The message: I’m thinking of you. The result: A feeling of being connected, being a key part of each other’s lives.” ? Winifred M. Reilly, marriage and family therapist and author of It Takes One to Tango

    2. They give each other compliments.

    “This doesn’t have to be a lovey-dovey compliment about being the best wife in the world, but even an offhand remark recognizing someone’s contribution, like ‘great dinner!’ Although some couples do well without positive feedback, the majority of people like at least a little bit of verbal recognition for their contribution, and happy couples are free with positive feedback.” ? Samantha Rodman, psychologist and dating coach

    3. They surprise each other with a card, just because.

    “Giving your partner a card that says ‘Thinking of you’ or ‘Thank you for all you do’ is such a sweet gesture. It will make him or her feel special and it’s a great reminder to you as well of all you have to be grateful for. An added fun touch would be to leave the card somewhere your loved one will happen on it. My husband loves to leave cards for me in the refrigerator. I often leave his cards under his pillow.” ? Susan Pease Gadoua, marriage therapist and the co-author of The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels

    4. They act generously, instead of keeping score.

    “Generosity is something freely given as a gift, with nothing expected in return. When a relationship feels secure, it is easy to want to offer more than your fair share of tasks or thoughtful gestures to show your love for your partner. Whether moving their clothes to the dryer for them or going on their favorite hike again, highly fulfilled couples tend to maintain great satisfaction from being thoughtful and generous toward their partner rather than scorekeeping.” ? Kari Carroll, couples therapist

    5. They speak openly about their thoughts and feelings.

    “When partners feel that it’s like pulling teeth to get each other to divulge any thoughts or feelings, a relationship can feel very lonely. Happy couples may not communicate constantly on a deep level, but they do it frequently enough to feel that they really know one another.” ? Samantha Rodman

    6. They surprise their partner with their favorite food.

    “We all know that food is nurturing and helps people feel connected. But when you go out of your way to bring home a special food you know they will love, it’s a wonderful way to put ‘I love you’ into action. If the favorite food is a meal that you make — rather than, say, a pint of Haagen Dazs — you’ll undoubtedly get even more points.” ? Susan Pease Gadoua

    7. Or with a freshly washed car.

    “Regardless of whether you do the washing yourself or take the car to a car wash, when your partner sees their squeaky clean wheels on the street or in the driveway, he or she will likely be very grateful.” ? Susan Pease Gadoua

    8. They’re in the habit of saying ‘thank you.’

    “Despite the mundanity and complacency that can develop within a long-term partnership, a sure way to keep the fire alive and burning brightly is to watch your partner beam when you regularly notice and point out their contributions to your life. People want to be reminded they are of value to you, and secure couples understand that this should be frequent. Although you may assume your love to be understood, in reality, acknowledging your partner’s efforts and contributions consistently builds an even deeper connection.” ? Kari Carroll

    9. And ‘I love you.’

    “And they do it when it’s unprompted, unsolicited, and unexpected. In many relationships the ‘I love yous’ come more from one partner than the other. Typically one leads and the other follows. Too often I hear the excuse, ‘I don’t want to overuse it.’ In happy relationships, both partners initiate saying it and they mean it when then do.” ? Kurt Smith, therapist who specializes in counseling for menIf your partner doesn’t do all of these things, don’t fret. Relationships are a work in progress, and if you’re not getting what you want out of it, you should ask. You aren’t a mind reader, so you can’t expect your partner to be one either.http://s://

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    Relationships 7 Small But Significant Habits That Can Improve Your Relationship

    Elaborate romantic gestures and effusive Instagram posts aren’t necessary ingredients for a strong, happy relationship.Rather, it’s the small, simple habits ? like getting enough sleep and kissing hello and goodbye, for example ? that have a major, positive effect over time.Below, marriage therapists reveal what you can do to make a big difference in your relationship.

    1. Get a good night’s sleep.

    We’re not at our best when we’re exhausted. Lack of sleep can leave us cranky, short-tempered and unable to focus. Conversely, getting sufficient rest ? when possible ? can improve our mood and overall well-being and, in turn, make us better, more loving partners.“No matter what is going on in a relationship, sleep should be the number one priority, even over sex,” psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez said. “Sleep is essential for good health. Being well rested and healthy is important for self and the partnership.” What’s more, going to bed at the same time as your partner promotes intimacy and closeness. Those few minutes of togetherness before your heads hit the pillow offer a small window for bonding after a busy day apart. Plus, hitting the sheets at the same time opens up the opportunity for cuddling and/or sex.

    2. Do thoughtful little things for each other, just because.

    Small, simple acts of kindness or thoughtfulness show your partner you care. No grand gestures necessary! It could be making your wife’s coffee in the morning, leaving a love note on the nightstand or surprising your husband with his favorite snacks.“When both partners make the effort to do little intentional acts of kindness, particularly without prompting by Hallmark or a holiday telling you to do so, the caring multiplies throughout the relationship,” said Kurt Smith, a therapist who specializes in counseling men.

    3. Compliment and thank one another.

    When we’re stuck in our routines, it’s easy to start taking the little things our partners do for us (or the kids, or around the house) for granted. Sometimes we forget to say thank you.When we do remember, we offer a quick, “Thanks, babe” and move on with our day. But acknowledging what you’re grateful for specifically can be more effective.“Highlight what you are showing appreciation for,” advised marriage and family therapist Spencer Northey. “As in, ‘Thank you for tidying the living room,’ or ‘I really appreciate you picking me up.’ Praise helps your partner feel loved and appreciated, and labeling the praise lets your partner know that you notice the little things they are doing. This also helps a person know exactly what you like, so they can do more of it!”The same applies to the positive things we often think about our spouses but don’t always say out loud.“The next time you notice, ‘I really liked the way you gave me that advice, it was helpful and you’re so smart,’ say it aloud,” said couples therapist Kari Carroll.

    4. Squeeze in hugs, kisses and other displays of affection.

    Physical touch is an important part of a romantic relationship. That doesn’t mean you need to get hot and heavy every time you see each other; little touches here and there will help keep the physical spark alive.“If you put your hand on their arm when you greet or sit down with your partner, this will increase oxytocin and you will both experience a decrease in stress,” Carroll said. “It says, ‘I care about you’ and it shows vulnerability and openness.”If you’re not already in the habit of hugging and kissing hello and goodbye, consider incorporating that into your daily routine. Most will probably be a quick squeeze or peck on the cheek. But renowned relationships researcher John Gottman recommends that couples share a kiss that lasts for six seconds or more at least once a day.“He calls this creating a ‘kiss with possibilities,’” Northey said. “And, yes, to begin this habit you may have to start counting in your head 1-2-3-4-5-6 until you get into the rhythm. Making your kisses last reminds you that your partner is so much more than your roommate.”

    5. Apologize when you’ve screwed up.

    Sometimes it stings to admit we’re wrong. But a genuine apology goes a long way toward mending your partner’s hurt feelings. (And FYI: “Sorry if you feel that way, but...” does not cut it.)“Sorry has become a forgotten word today,” Smith said. “Acknowledging mistakes or regretful words is a huge component in keeping your relationship on track and moving forward.”

    6. Ask for what you want instead of blaming your partner for not giving it to you.

    Psychotherapist Elisabeth J. LaMotte says her couples therapy clients have told her that one of the most useful tools they’ve learned in counseling is to ditch “you” statements and change them into “I” statements.So what does that mean? Rather than telling your partner, “You obviously care more about your work than you do about me,” it might be more effective to say, “When you check your work email during date night, I feel lonely and disappointed.”“This shift completely changes the narrative,” said LaMotte, founder of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center. “It pitches to the best in the other person and it organically communicates that you are willing to make yourself vulnerable and take ownership of your part in the relationship. It takes some practice to get into the habit, but it is worth it.”

    7. Schedule time to have real conversations.

    When life gets busy, it’s easy to get caught up in to-do lists, only giving attention to the most pressing matters of the day. But setting aside time for you and your partner to have intimate conversations ? not just about the grocery list and the kids’ math homework ? is essential.“I can’t tell you how many couples I counsel who say they never have time to talk,” Smith said. “Obviously, they’re talking about who’s taking the kids to the dentist or soccer practice, but not about each other or their relationship. Most of us are so busy we have to put it on the calendar, and that’s OK, because what’s most important is that it happens.”Also, regularly discussing finances ? that is, before some type of budget-related disaster occurs ? could prevent arguments or more unpleasant conversations down the line.“Many partners don’t say anything about money until there’s a problem ? big credit card bill, spending they don’t approve of, bank account balance is low,” Smith said. “Money doesn’t have to always be a negative subject or a cause of conflict, but it will be when it’s avoided and only brought up in such circumstances.”

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    6 Tips to Smooth Out a Marital Rough Patch

    Has your marriage hit a rough patch? You are not alone. There’s no reason to panic. Many marriages do hit troubled times at some point. You may need some ideas to help smooth this rough patch out. Here are some tips to keep in mind if you are in such a situation. 

    Be Mindful of Your Commitment to Each Other

    Commitment to each other is essential to having a good marriage. That means putting up with each other in good times and bad. But commitment should not be an excuse for people to disrespect or neglect each other. Commitment does not mean handcuffs. Commitment in marriage is a pledge to love each other and stay supportive in good times and bad. This promise also implies that each party will keep faithful to their vows of acting with long-term love and respect. It means the choices you make will have each other's best interest in mind. 

    Have a Shared Vision

    Marriage partners are a team working toward the same vision. It should not be about one partner acting without regard for the feelings or interests of the other. It isn't about obtaining some prize and abusing or neglecting it. It isn't about one partner being domineering. Nor is it about one spouse expecting the other will make them happy and meet all their needs. If you believe one person can meet all your needs, you are being unrealistic and are sure to be disappointed.

    Focus on the Big Picture

    When you or your spouse become agitated or irritable, and the marriage waters seem rough, it can be easy to become self-centered and decide the marriage isn't worth the effort. Being overly negative is something you can do in almost any situation. But focusing too much on what’s wrong and what’s missing is bound to bury you and possibly ruin your relationship.

    Foster a Healthy Dependency

    Having real emotional integrity, though, means looking at the bigger picture which might include asking what need is not being met in your life or in your spouse's life. Once identified, there is something to address, work on, and seek to correct. It’s perfectly okay to ask for your emotional needs to be met by your spouse. Be prepared to offer the same in return. You both should actively strive to depend on each other and not deny your basic human needs for emotional connectivity. At the same time, know that you can’t burden one person alone to meet all of your needs.

    Are You the Problem?

    Neither of you may be the problem. Typical challenges of life have a way of seeping into relationships. When one spouse is over-stressed, worn out, feeling shot down at work, feeling like a personal failure in some area, they are bound to become difficult to live with. It's critical to separate out the actual cause of the distress. It may have little to do with the marriage at all. If the problem or need can be identified, then you can become creative in trying to resolve the problems together. 

    Neither of you is the enemy. There’s no need to take what was said or done personally. Try to reach out to each other with love and caring instead. If baggage from your past keeps cropping up, make an effort to work on it if it is impacting how you interact today. 

    Keep Tabs on Your Emotional Bank Account

    You should already have enough “savings” in your emotional bank account to get through a marital rough patch relatively unscathed. This means you have been actively nurturing your marriage throughout your lives together. After the rough patch is done, you may need to focus on making a few more deposits! Give your partner as much attention, affirmation, and applause as you can when you have it to give. And when you need it for yourself, ask for it.

    These helpful tips should guide you through what is a relatively “normal” time in any long-term relationship such as marriage. Having the commitment to your partner is key, but the commitment should be to work through issues patiently. It also means you both make conscientious decisions together to find your way through this period of time

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    Tips to Keep Your Long Distance Marriage Healthy

    Being in a long distance marriage creates complications and can make a marriage even more challenging. Here are a few tips for keeping your marriage strong even though you are not living under the same roof.

    Here's How

    • The key, as it is in all relationships, is communication. Keep the lines of communication open on a daily basis. Send photographs, Skype one another, send text messages, short videos online or through cloud computing.
    • It is vital that you are both committed to one another and truly believe in your marriage.
    • Your long-distance marriage will fail if there is a lack of trust between you.
    • Although you are apart from one another, make time for one another. You can do this by sending a love letter, an email, writing in a journal, day-dreaming about your spouse, or having a chat online or through text messages.
    • Share your expectations about being apart from one another. Also, share your expectations about being together again.
    • Be honest about your concerns and fears about your separation.
    • Consider having a daily dialogue with each other.
    • Keep a daily journal.
    • Give one another a scented pillow case or shirt to help keep your presence with them.
    • Plan a trip, a few days away together, or some fun activity (other than sex) to do when the two of you are back together.
    • Enrich your online communication with electronic cards, music, poems, movies, and stories.
    • With more opportunities to watch movies and television shows online, you both could watch a show and then talk, chat, or text about it with each other.
    • Send care packages to each other often.
    • Play online games together.
    • Surprise each other once in a while with a phone call.


    • Don't assume that infidelity will occur because of your physical separation. Most long-distance marriages do not have to deal with this heartache because of the love and commitment the spouses feel for one another.
    • Since you can't read one another's non-verbal communication, use symbols or words or happy faces to describe your thoughts better.
    • When you are back together, don't rush into getting things done around the house right away. Allow the returning spouse to have some time to adjust to being back home.
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    How to make your man forget about his ex-girlfriend

    obsessed with ex

    Believe it or not, women ask me this ridiculous question all the time. I try gently to remind them that you can’t actually make your boyfriend do anything. You can’t make him forget his ex-girlfriend, and, quixotically, the harder you try, the more likely you are to fail. Better to make yourself forget about his ex-girlfriend.

    Women spend far too much of their time analyzing and scrutinizing their boyfriends’ behavior, and not enough time having fun themselves. Do yourself a favor – stop worrying so much and start living.

    jealous girlOK, with that much said, your boyfriend still seems hung up on his ex. He talks about her or talks to her too much for your liking. What should you do?

    Always keeping in mind that you really don’t have the power to make him let her go, what are some things you can do?

    As my wise old married friend told me, you can say anything once to your boyfriend if you are willing to let go of it after that. So try being honest with him without being confrontational. Tell him how you feel about his ex-girlfriend hangup. You feel frustrated, suspicious, angry, sad. Then let it go. Don’t bring the subject up again. Because then it becomes nagging, and no man wants to be nagged. Ask men why they’re unhappy in their relationship, or why they dumped their last girlfriend, and “nagging” is likely to come out of their mouths as one of the top reasons.

    In Guyana, a South American country adjacent to the Caribbean, they have a word for it, “woman-rain.” It means that light, persistent, continuous rain, rain that falls steadily “like the persistent nagging of a woman.” I’m not making this up – look it up yourself. The point is, you don’t want your boyfriend putting you in that category. Men don’t like to be nagged.

    The best thing you can do is focus on yourself and keep moving your relationship forward, into the future. Take care of yourself, make sure you have a life that doesn’t depend entirely on your boyfriend especially when you get to the point where you live together. Go out with your other friends often. Laugh and have fun. Learn new things. Travel, with or without your boyfriend. Enjoy yourself.

    Now, be careful here. I’m not talking about trying to make your boyfriend jealous, as that is more likely to backfire and make him angry or upset than anything else. Don’t go out and pick up on other men to “prove” how attractive you are and teach him a lesson. Don’t throw a fit and threaten to break up with him. There’s a better way.

    Having a fun, interesting life will make you a happier, livelier, more interesting and attractive person – to your boyfriend and to everyone else. Stop thinking about what your boyfriend is or isn’t doing, focus on yourself, and he will notice and likely be more attracted to you than ever. That’s a sure way to get him to think less about anyone else, especially his ex-girlfriend.

    But most of all, that takes time. Your boyfriend is a human being, and we all sometimes hold on to past relationships, whether they were happy or sad ones, for a bit too long. Do you ever think back to any of your ex-boyfriends, ever miss them or compare them to your current boyfriend? See? It’s normal. If your boyfriend ordered you to never, ever think of your ex-boyfriend, you’d tell him to stop being a jerk.

    If he still hasn’t proposed after all these years, you can almost bet his ex-girlfriend has got nothing to do with it. Just keep the focus on yourself, on being a fun and interesting person, and give your boyfriend the time and space to forget his ex-girlfriend on his own.

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    9 Practical Ways to Rebuild Trust after You’ve Cheated


    By Team LovePanky

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    An affair can tear most relationships beyond repair. But if you’re determined to fix it, use these 9 ways to rebuild the trust after you’ve cheated.


    For couples that have had to deal with infidelity, there is hope!

    Though many couples choose to end a relationship or even a marriage because of an affair, there are still some who trudge on and end up with a relationship that’s stronger than ever.

    What doesn’t kill your relationship can make it stronger, after all.

    Rebuilding trust after straying away

    Regaining the trust of a broken hearted lover is not easy though, and as hard as you try, it will seem futile and frustrating at times, and you may feel helpless and pained at other times.

    But when you see couples that have endured through the rocky phases, and come out stronger than ever, you can still cling to hope and try to make your own romance bloom even after it seems to have withered away.

    9 ways to rebuild trust after an affair

    If you want to build trust back into the relationship or marriage, here are the 9 things you should prepare yourself for.

    It’ll take time and determination, but anything worth holding on to is definitely worth the effort, isn’t it? [Read: 10 reasons why you have trust issues and 5 ways to fix them all]

    #1 End the affair, duh. But make sure your partner gets proof. No, don’t set up a date with you, the person you cheated with, and your partner. That’s just asking for trouble! Instead, do it via phone, text, Facebook or email. Just make sure the person you cheated with gets the message and you can provide proof to your significant other.

    This may be the hardest and most awkwardly heart wrenching hurdle, but ensuring your partner knows how you ended it would help calm his or her mind in case there are still lingering doubts that the affair is still happening. [Read: How to end an affair and get over it completely]

    #2 Admit your mistake. Don’t blame it on the third party and definitely don’t blame it on your partner! Infidelity is a conscious decision that you chose to get involved in. After you’ve apologized to your *possibly unreceptive* partner, tell him or her about why you chose to have an affair in the first place.

    Try your best not to blame external influences such as alcohol or goading from your friends, either. Instead, let your partner in on what was going through your mind to commit such an act of betrayal. Maybe you felt taken for granted. Maybe you were just looking for an ego boost. Maybe you just have poor self-control. Whatever it is, make sure it’s sincere! [Read: The right way to confess to cheating on your lover]

    #3 Let your partner vent, and answer questions when they do. Your partner has every right to be angry. But when he or she lets out the frustration, the anger, the tears and the accusation, try your best to be patient.

    Also, give honest answers to your significant other’s questions, no matter how ashamed you are of what you did. You’ve kept your partner in the dark during your affair, so it may be his or her way of shedding light on the times when you lied about your whereabouts.

    The more your partner knows about the sordid details, the less his or her imagination takes over to fill in the blanks and make things seem worse than they actually are.

    #4 Shower your beau with attention and affection. The thing about cheating is that your partner is hurt that you’re lavishing attention on another person when this should have been exclusive between the two of you.

    Chances are, during the affair, your partner was deprived of your affection. This is the perfect moment to make it up. Go the extra mile, woo her with flowers or win him over with breakfast in bed. Remember, you’re rebuilding trust, but affection is also important. Just don’t think for a second that those grand gestures will be enough to get you off the hook. [Read: The 25 sweetest romantic gestures you can use in your everyday life]


    #5 Let your partner know where you are at all times. This may seem like something you’d get from a clingy partner. But you’re both working on rebuilding a relationship of shattered trust. By letting your sweetheart know where you are, this lets them keep an eye on you and feel reassured.

    This would also serve to calm your partner’s mind that you’re just doing regular stuff even if you’re not being watched. But don’t turn your updates into a loveless report on your whereabouts, either!

    Put in something extra like, “Hey honey. Just got into the office. Love you.” Or “Just doing my groceries at the usual spot. I’m thinking about you.” Doing this via a phone call also beats doing it by texting. Sincere and affectionate, yet informative are what you’re going for. [Read: Emotional affairs and 10 really bad things it can do to your life]

    #6 Slowly try to rebuild your emotional and physical relationship. Imagine you’re starting from scratch and you’re wooing your partner to fall in love with you again. The mere fact that he or she is willing to work things out says that the love is there, though the trust may need some work. And as with the beginning of your relationship, affection, proof of your sincerity and love can lead to trust, even if it’s the second time around.

    Do the little things that won him or her over at the start like long talks, surprise visits or just overall thoughtfulness. Make your partner laugh, use your skills at cooking to woo him or her again. Then, if your partner is getting comfortable with you again, move on to the more physical stuff.

    By no means are you aiming to make it seem like you’re starting off on a clean slate. But your entire relationship has undergone a huge, albeit painful, change. This is the time to step up and make up for this relationship road bump. [Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend and felt good about it!]

    #7 Avoid the old patterns that led you to the affair. Okay, so maybe you’re not 100% at fault in the affair. It could be that timing and temptation got in the way of your otherwise good judgment and it led to an affair.

    But whatever it is that led you down that road *being surrounded by hotties at the bar, friends who encourage you, or just being too friendly with people*, do your best to avoid it.

    If your partner knows that your affair started with a trip to the pub, then you’ll have to avoid that or take your partner with you whenever you go there. If it started at work, you should try your best not to be alone with your ex paramour. If it’s with an ex who tried to rekindle the flame, remove him or her from your contact list, your Facebook page or whatever mediums of communication you had.

    Also, it would help if your significant other knew that you’re actually making an effort to avoid repeating the same old patterns. Again, this won’t be enough, but it’s a start. Not only would it calm you partner’s mind, but these steps would definitely help prevent a relapse into old cheating behaviour. [Read: 10 big steps to resist temptation in love]

    #8 Be patient with your partner. Ending the affair is just the start to a long road of rebuilding your partner’s trust in you. After that, there will be some lingering accusations, the occasional paranoid behavior and blaming you on the side. Take it all in, but don’t let it crumble your resolve. This is all part of the process.

    There’s no definite timeline for this, and all couples marred by infidelity go through it at different paces. But one day, with enough time and consistent effort, your partner may slowly start to put down his or her defenses and learn to gradually trust you again. [Read: Affairs in a relationship and the really big role egos play in it]

    #9 Seek therapy. Despite your best efforts, it’s still possible for the reconciliation process to not work out as planned. This is what couples’ therapy is for. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you should be proud that you’re willing to invest in professional means of patching up your relationship.

    But remember, therapy isn’t an overnight cure for your plight. You still have to consistently work on rebuilding trust on your own. Just think of therapy as an added booster shot to help smoothen the path to a renewed relationship.

    There is no quick fix for regaining your partner’s trust. Infidelity can be a one-time thing that will leave a lingering ghost in your relationship for years to come.

    [Read: 12 subtle signs of a loveless romance that could lead to one partner straying]

    But if you use these steps to rebuild trust after cheating, and you and your partner are resolved to make things work, you can gradually rebuild the trust you thought you’d lost. Good luck!

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    How to Make Your Boyfriend Go Crazy over You

    Whether you are in a new relationship or if you are a long-term couple, everyone wants their boyfriend to be attentive and attracted to them. As relationships grow and change, it is common for the crazy passion you once had for each other to slow down or be expressed in other ways. Sure he likes you or even loves you, but there are ways to make him go crazy over you. You want him to feel desired, and you also want to encourage this passion by being a desirable partner.


    Part 1

    Making Your Boyfriend Feel Desired

    1. Image titled Compliment a Guy Step 14


      Compliment him. Complimenting your boyfriend is an important way to help him feel appreciated and loved. By complimenting him, you will show him that you accept him as he is and that you like the things that he says and does. [1] It is important to compliment your boyfriend for his big accomplishments, but you should also try paying your boyfriend compliments when he does little things as well. For example:
      • “Wow, that was an amazing kiss.”
      • “You looked so sexy and manly out there cutting the grass.”
      • “You were so good in the game today; it’s such a turn on watching you play.”
    2. Image titled Make Eye Contact Step 11


      Lock eyes with him. Eye contact is a great nonverbal way to show your acceptance of someone. When we like people, we are more likely to make eye contact with them.[2] Show your boyfriend that you love and accept him by gazing into his eyes. If he returns your feelings, then he should gaze into you eyes in return.

    3. Image titled Kiss Passionately Step 8


      Kiss with passion. Kissing is one of the ways that we evaluate our partners, so being a good kisser is really important. Kissing can also help to improve your boyfriend’s feeling of attraction and connection to you. To be a good kisser, try to keep some things in mind: [3]
      • It’s okay to start off a kiss with your mouth closed and move into a more passionate kind of kiss if the mood is right.
      • Make sure your teeth are clean and your breath is fresh before you attempt a kiss.
      • Focus on him and nothing else when you are kissing. Being distracted while kissing can be a big turn-off.
      • Try touching the back of his head or neck or stroking his arm while you kiss. These extra touches can be a great way to enhance a kiss.
    4. Image titled Surprise Your Boyfriend Step 18


      Surprise him. Nothing helps spark or reignite passion like a little spontaneity. It can help break up your normal routine and show him that you feel crazy about him, which could inspire him to go crazy over you. Be flirty and live in the moment at all times, and he will always feel excited to be around you. Some spontaneous ideas to consider:
      • If your car breaks down in the rain, don’t just sit in the car waiting for him to fix it. Jump out and dance with him on the side of the road.
      • If you normally watch his favorite sports team at home, surprise him with tickets or take him out to a local restaurant with huge TVs to watch the game instead.
      • Take on a sexy alter ego and stay in character during your entire date.
    5. Image titled Compliment a Guy Step 1


      Encourage him. One huge part of sparking desire in your partner is helping him feel good about himself. Encourage him in his goals like you would encourage a friend. Make sure that he knows that you are there for him and that you support him.
      • For example, if your boyfriend is worried about a job interview, then you can encourage him by saying something like, "You are going to be great! They would not have called you for an interview if they did not already think you were a good choice for the job!"
      • Being a Desirable Partner

      • Image titled Become More Confident Around Girls_Guys Step 4


        Show your confidence. Confidence is a really sexy quality for most people, so feel free to be your most confident when you are with your boyfriend. You can demonstrate your confidence by doing things like sharing your accomplishments and acknowledging your strengths.
        • Keep in mind that some people find confidence a little intimidating. If your boyfriend has low self-confidence, then projecting your confidence may not increase his desire for you.[4]
      • Image titled Get a Guy to Always Want to Talk to You Step 16


        Tell him about yourself. Revealing things about yourself will help to enhance your boyfriend’s feelings for you.[5] Tell him all about yourself, including your interests, your goals, and your family. Be careful not to reveal too much too soon, though. Keeping some aspects of your life, goals, and feelings can add mystery to your relationship, which may help to increase his interest in you.

      • Image titled Tell if He Likes You Step 02


        Pay attention to what your boyfriend is attracted to. Your boyfriend may have some specific things that attract him, so try to pay attention when he tells you that you look sexy. Perhaps your boyfriend loves lingerie, or maybe he thinks you look sexiest right after a workout. Some things that might help include:
        • Wearing eye makeup. Eye makeup has been shown to make women seem more attractive to some men.[6] Try wearing some eyeliner or eyeshadow and mascara when your boyfriend is around.
        • Using unscented or lightly scented products on your body. It is important for your boyfriend to be able to smell your natural scent. This scent can help him to experience strong feelings of attraction.[7] Try wearing unscented deodorant and using unscented bath products so that your boyfriend can smell your natural scent.
        • Wearing red clothing now and then. One study found that men are more attracted by the color red than any other color.[8] Get a red dress or sweater to wear on a date with your boyfriend and see what happens.
      • Image titled Have a Great Day with Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend Step 4


        Keep your time together light and fun. In addition to being sexy and desirable, another great way to drive your boyfriend wild is to just be a fun loving person. You want him to want to hang out with you, and showing him that you are the type of person who is up for a good time is a great hook. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, but know that there are a lot of ways to have a good time. Some ideas include:
        • Go for a hike and race him to the top for the last leg. Laughing through a competitive situation will bond you and endear you to him.
        • Go out to watch a sports game with him and his friends and impress them with your knowledge of the game.
        • Play a game of truth or dare to show him you can be silly and fun.

        Part 3

        Increasing His Desire

      • Image titled Be Comfortable Around Your Boyfriend Step 14


        Stay close by. Proximity has been found to increase feelings that people have for each other. In other words, the more that you see someone, the more likely you are to like that person.[9] To make this work for you, try stopping by your boyfriend’s locker on the way to class, suggest some regular study sessions, or find ways to see more of him.

      • Image titled Be Single and Happy Step 2


        Respect your boyfriend’s personal space and enjoy yours as well. A great way to make your boyfriend go crazy over you is to make sure that you give him a chance to miss being with you all of the time. Some of the initial spark and passion fizzle out because you get too comfortable with each other. You want him to miss you, but you also want him to know that he isn’t your sole source of happiness.
        • Make plans to spend time with your girlfriends one night per week and encourage him to have a guys night.
      • Image titled Cheer Up Your Boyfriend Step 22


        Mirror his movements. Mirroring someone’s movements can increase their feelings of attraction for you.[10] To make this work for you, try to copy his physical position now and then. For example, if your boyfriend readjusts himself in his seat and leans on his right hand, wait a few seconds and do the same. Make sure that you are leaning on your left hand so that you look like a mirror image of him.
        • Try to be subtle about this. Mirroring often happens without people noticing they are doing it and it is important to avoid making it too obvious or it might seem strange.
      • Image titled Refuse a Kiss Step 4


        Play hard to get. Even though you are already dating, you can increase your partner’s desire for you by playing hard to get.[11] Some easy ways to play hard to get with your boyfriend include:
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    Sex Therapy

    All couples go through phases where they don’t have the time or energy for regular sex.

    If this has become the norm and you would like to rediscover your sex life, Relate’s Sex Therapists can help you. It’s natural to want better sex with your partner and sometimes there are specific reasons for your difficulties. Don’t be embarrassed about it, ask for help.

    What is Sex Therapy?

    Sex Therapy can help you if you're experiencing difficulties in your love life and can help you to improve physical intimacy.

    Working with a Relate Sex Therapist will help you to work out how to handle the problems you're having and find a way to move on from them.

    What can I expect in Sex Therapy?

    Once you've made an appointment with your local Relate Centre, you'll be seen by a sex therapist who will listen sensitively to your description of the problem and gather further information from you to ensure that any suggested treatment meets your needs.

    You will also talk about the best times for your sessions, and discuss the cost of Sex Therapy. If at this stage Sex Therapy is considered appropriate, you will start to see your sex therapist on a weekly to fortnightly basis. All of the work you do in the therapy room is based on talking, however, you are also given homework to do with your partner in the privacy of your own home.

    Clients are often amazed at the progress they make and how well they get on with their therapist, once they are over the initial nervousness at talking frankly about their sex life. In some parts of the country, Sex Therapy is provided by individuals who are Relate trained and work from their own premises rather than a Relate Centre.

    How can Sex Therapy help me?

    Sex Therapy is incredibly rewarding and 93% of couples who've used the service said that it improved their sex life. If you've stopped having sex, this programme can help you to rediscover it. If sexual problems are preventing you from starting a family, sex therapy can address the psychological and physical issues and help you to conceive.

    Whether you're single, married or in a relationship, gay, lesbian or straight, Sex Therapy can help you to improve your sex life and to overcome any specific sexual dysfunctions.

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    VIRAL VIDEO : Daughter Of Pastor Otabil Being Hammered Hard By Boyfriend

    A video of a young lady between the ages of 20-24 being ‘hammered’ hard by boyfriend hits social media and as usual, it’s going viral already as users are sharing on the various social media platforms.

    The lady, Gina who was moaning amidst being ‘hammered’ hard by boyfriend is believed to be the daughter of Pastor Anim Otabil, Head Pastor of White Harvest Ministry located at a village called Prang in the Brong Ahafo Region.

    The boyfriend who has been identified as Peter is seen in the video banging the hell of out the pastor’s daughter as if a doctor had prescribed the act as medication for him.

    We cannot publish the video on as it is against our privacy policies but trust me, the Pastor’s daughter and her boyfriend know it all when it comes to the “Suhum-Nsawam” ‘job’.

    We are not sure if Pastor Anim Otabil has watched the video, but he will marvel at the performance of her ‘innocent’ daughter in case he watches it.

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